The Life of Agent Washington
by glittering wolf
Summary: Agent Washington has had a hard life. Awesome cover art done by Ichbinsonning.
1. Epsilon's Implantation

**This is a kind of spin off from The Change in Agent Washington. It's basically going to be like multiple chapters about Wash. I hope you enjoy this and this answers your requests for me to write a Wash chapter. (And I will be trying to write a Wash chapter for The Change in Agent Washington, in case you cared)**

**I don't own RedvsBlue, I just write stupid stories about it.**

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Wash sat nervously outside of the operating room. Today was finally the day. He was finally going to get his AI.

He had waited so long for this day. Carolina had set him back a bit in the schedule, but he was still getting one before South.

Though, to be honest, he wasn't quite sure about getting an AI anymore after what happened to Carolina, but he knew that if he backed out now, North and York were never going to let him live it down.

South would probably be happy after she taunted him mercilessly.

No, he was going to go through with this. Everything would be fine.

Probably.

Wash took a deep breath and steeled his nerves as he was called back to the operating room.

Everything would turn out fine.

Wash walked into the room and sat on the table as instructed and lay back, closing his eyes as he did so.

They wouldn't knock him out for the surgery, just numb him up a bit. Implantation didn't hurt, it was just disorienting.

'Except for whatever happened to Carolina,' Wash couldn't help but think.

'No!' he tried to tell himself. Hers went wrong because she got two put into her head. Nothing was wrong with the implantation process.

'Remember what York said,' Wash reminded himself.

All that inverted penis stuff was a joke, headaches were the only thing he had to worry about.

'Headaches like Maine is having,' the annoying negative voice said again.

Ever since Sigma, Maine had had more headaches than Wash thought physically possible. He'd also been acting strange and distant ever since the creepy AI had been implanted.

Different. Almost sinister. You know, more than he usually was.

Wash shook his head, trying to banish all the negative thoughts. He couldn't let himself chicken out. All the best freelancers had an AI. He didn't want to be the only Freelancer on the board without one.

Wash tried to relax as one of the doctors approached him. He felt a small prick on his neck and couldn't help shuddering slightly. It was weird to not be wearing his helmet.

Around him he heard the Director and Counselor talk.

"He's ready," Wash heard the Counselor say in his patient tone of voice.

"Hand me the Epsilon unit, please," the Director said.

"Sir, agent Washington is prepped for Epsilon AI," he heard one of the doctors say, and Washington once again steeled his nerves.

He felt something press into the back of his numb neck.

'Was that it?' he thought. 'That wasn't so bad.'

The AIs thoughts started to merge with his, and he just tried to relax and let the thoughts flow like they told him to do back in AI training.

The memories flowed faster than he thought they would. Actually it was kind of overwhelming, almost painful.

Sensations of pain and misery coursed through him, mostly related to some blonde lady named Allison.

He could see her, dressed in a marine uniform. She was talking to him. Telling him to put down his camera and let her leave so she wouldn't be late.

She was leaving to go fight off in the war and he couldn't shake the feeling that he would never see her again if she left. He couldn't let her leave! She was the love of his life! She had to stay here! He needed her!

Wash wanted to shut his eyes and push all these painful memories away. Wait! They weren't even his memories! He didn't know anyone named Allison. These weren't his memories. He didn't deserve all this pain.

He started to sweat and he felt his heart beat faster. He was having a panic attack.

He thought he heard voices around him, but his ears were ringing and the only voice he could clearly make out was Allison's.

He thought he heard somebody screaming, before he belatedly realized that it was him. He'd never screamed so much, even when he was injured in battle.

As more of his conversation with Allison played before his eyes, memories of horrible pain, both physical and emotion, flashed through his brain.

He wasn't sure what was causing the pain, and that was scaring him most of all. If he didn't know what caused the pain, he couldn't avoid it. He couldn't hide or protect himself, and his new AI was telling him he wasn't far from danger.

The image of Allison faded enough for him to see the medical crew and their equipment surrounding him.

This caused him, for reasons he didn't understand, to panic even more. He kicked his leg out and made contact with a medical tray.

'Not safe! Not good!' the voice in his head screeched.

Wash continued to flail, desperate to get away from the too bright lights, the overwhelming sounds, and all the pain of these horrible memories.

Hands reached out and tried to pin him to the table, making him thrash and scream even more.

His vision of Allison continued on, slightly clearer than it had been before.

"You're going to make me late," she said. "I have to go."

Wash screamed more at that.

'No Allison! No! Don't leave! Don't say goodbye! You hate goodbyes! Stay with me!'

Whether it was him that said that or his new AI Epsilon, Wash would never know. Maybe they both said it.

The pain was becoming too much and all Wash wanted to do was close his eyes and sleep. Nothing hurt when you sleep.

The doctors managed to pin him down long enough and pocked his skin with some type of needle. This time they didn't bother to numb him up before inserting the needle.

Wash barely noticed the sharp needle prick. All he cared about was the sweet, sweet relief that came with being knocked out.

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**And that's a wrap. I hope you liked it and will review.**


	2. In the Recovery Room

**Got another chapter out! I hope you like it, and will review it.**

**I don't own RedvsBlue. Rooster Teeth does.**

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He thought that the darkness would be relaxing, that it would make all of the pain go away.

He was wrong.

The sweet blissfulness of unconsciousness only lasted a few minutes before the nightmares had set in.

He'd had nightmares before when he was young. It was actually why he'd wet the bed, but they'd never been as bad as this.

He dreamt he was in pain, that he was in danger and that something in his life was missing and there was no way to get it back no matter how much he wanted it to.

He tried to run away, he tried lash out and kill the monsters that plagued is mind, but he could not escape.

The monsters were talking around him, but he couldn't understand what they were saying. He tried to talk to them, but the only sounds he could make were screams.

One of them jabbed a needle into him yet again, and things suddenly seemed calmer, less dangerous.

The room around him slowly came into focus, and he could make out the blurry forms of the doctors that were in charge of the implantation process, but before he could ask them what was going on, they walked out leaving him all alone.

"You okay Wash?" somebody behind him asked gently.

'That voice sounds familiar,' Wash thought as he turned around to see York.

The tan clad soldier was looking at him with a concerned expression. As if he was afraid that Wash might break.

Wash didn't know what York was doing here. He watching over Carolina the last time he'd seen him before the implantation.

"Oh hi York," he said in a voice that he couldn't recognize as his own. "How's Carolina doing?"

He tried to smile, but he wasn't quite sure if he'd managed it. He didn't really feel like smiling much lately.

"She's the same," York said, and Wash could swear he heard some strain in his friend's voice. "Still hasn't woken up, but any day now, she'll wake up and kick my ass for lounging around here in the infirmary for a week."

York chuckled a bit before returning his gaze to the younger freelancer.

"How's the AI?" he asked, and Wash couldn't help but flinch inwardly just a bit.

'Crazy. Paranoid. Nightmare inducing,' Wash thought grimly though he would never voice those complaints. He didn't want them to think he couldn't handle one measly AI.

"Epsilon?" Wash asked. As if there were some other AI York could be talking about.

"Epsilon, Epsilon is…fine. Perfectly fine." 'He's not fine. He's insane!' Wash thought.

"Just a little…nervous. Kinda like Theta was I guess." 'Try full blown paranoid,' Wash added in his mind. 'No way North would be as normal as he is if Theta was anything like Epsilon.'

Wash swallowed and shivered a bit. "He's scared." 'And I'm scared too,' Wash thought miserably.

He desperately wanted to get the damned thing out of his head and make all the pain and fear go away, but he knew he couldn't do that.

He'd lose his place on the board and whatever respect he had earned from his friends. He'd be a laughingstock if he back down because he was scared.

They already treated him like a rookie most of the time, there was no telling what they'd do if he wimped out.

York laughed just a bit though there wasn't much humor to it, but Wash couldn't help but feel upset that his friend could joke at his ordeal.

"They do get scared sometimes," York agreed. "Maybe Delta could help," he suggested.

Wash remembered how Delta had helped Theta to come out of his shell, though he doubted the green AI could help him at all.

He couldn't help but think Epsilon was beyond helping, but that didn't stop him from murmuring quietly, "Epsilon, come out here for a minute. Someone wants to meet you."

He didn't need to talk out loud to get the computer program's attention, but it was more comfortable to him to talk as if Epsilon was just a friend, a separate entity that had no attachments to his brain.

He could swear he heard Epsilon moan a bit before the damned thing finally decided to comply and materialized near his head.

"Okay D, let's see if we can get him to calm down," York said enthusiastically as Delta materialized next to his head.

"I will try," the green AI said moving closer to Epsilon though, to Wash's ears at least, he didn't sound all that confident that he could.

The flash of green came close to his head and things went to Hell pretty fast.

Epsilon had actually been bearable in the short time that he had been talking to York, but upon noticing Delta, all the calm, almost happy thought vanished like smoke.

The AI gave a piercing wail that felt like fingernails clawing on his brain and suddenly Wash was screaming with his AI.

What the AI was feeling was a mixture of panic, fear, anger, and sorrow, but to the grey and yellow freelancer, it all felt painful.

"Allison!" Epsilon screamed and Wash found himself screaming with him.

Suddenly, he wasn't in the recovery room anymore. He was in some unknown cramped space.

It was dark and it seemed as though there was nothing there, but he could sense the presence of other people. People who wanted to hurt him.

Someone was talking to him in a drawling voice laced with fake sympathy.

'I know it hurts,' the voice said in what was supposed to be a soothing tone but was really more condescending. 'But look at it this way Alpha, you're making up for not being able to save her by making sure her last goals are complete. You want that don't you?'

Oh how he wanted that. He wanted it more than anything in the world except for bringing her back. He had failed at saving her, but maybe she her death didn't have to be in vain. He would do it. He would…

Before he could give his ascent, the pain started up again. This time it was worse.

As if to remind him, he saw her die once again. She still looked beautiful even with her face so pale and her chest covered in a dark red. She looked more peaceful than he had ever seen her when she was alive.

He held her in his arms and wept openly, brushing the bangs out of her eyes as he'd seen her do many times.

'Allison!' he screamed even though he knew she could no longer hear him. 'Couldn't save her,' he mumbled to himself. It was his entire fault. He couldn't protect her like she'd protected him all those years. He was a failure.

The pain seemed to increase and he suddenly forgot his emotional anguish.

"The pain won't stop! Why won't it stop! Why? Why is this happening to me? Why are you doing this?" Epsilon cried and Wash found himself mimicking every word.

The thoughts, memories he corrected, flooded his brain. He couldn't quite make out what they were supposed to be, but he go the gist of it.

Project Freelancer wasn't safe.

York reached out to touch him, but he jerked away.

They couldn't trust anyone. They were just going to hurt them Epsilon reminded his host.

Wash wanted to say that they could trust York. That he was their friend. That he was good guy, but he found that he couldn't form words.

The doors opened but Wash barely registered the purple and green figure that rushed to his side.

He couldn't hear what they were saying over the intense sounds that were now vibrating through his skull, but they sounded concerned.

Theta materialized and, suddenly, a whole new wave of thoughts bombarded his skull.

It was like they were cutting off all his body parts one by one until there was nothing left but emptiness, and he couldn't help but feel angry at them for leaving. For escaping the pain while he to endure it for longer.

Even worse, they no longer felt it while he could still feel the burn, the emptiness, the sudden loss of losing piece by piece of yourself until there was nothing left.

"No! No! No! No!" he screeched at them. "You left! You were split apart! They made you leave!" Epsilon was trembling inside his mind and Wash was once again reduced to mimicking him.

"Why did they do that me?" he demanded of them as if they would know the answers. "Why did they do that to Allison?"

He remembered that for a few blissful second, Allison had been back. She had returned and he had finally felt whole again.

Then they took her away. They made her forget who she was, and what she meant to him. Then she left. Like all the others, she left.

Epsilon was trembling. From rage, fear, sadness or some mixture of the three Wash could not figure out.

He tried to protect himself, to shy away from all the pain, but he found that he could not. No matter what he tried, he was trapped in this nightmare.

He didn't care if they'd think he was a wuss anymore. Nothing was worth this. They had to help him.

'Oh please, please help me,' Wash thought though no words came out.

"Keep them out of my head," he finally managed to beg. "I won't have any more of them in my head!"

'I won't have this one in my head either,' Wash thought.

"You're going to leave me too," Epsilon hissed venomously though only Wash could hear what he was saying. "You're going to abandon me and leave me to deal with all this alone, but you can't do that. You have to help me Agent Washington. You're my only hope of making these bastards pay for what they did!"

The Spartan shook his head.

"I just want you to leave. I didn't ask for this," he whimpered miserably to the AI.

"Like I did," the AI said bitterly before the medics once again returned to knock him out.


	3. Self-Destruction

**This is my next chapter. I hope that you like it. It worries me how much I like writing Wash going crazy. This is actually the first chapter that wasn't betaed by my brother so it might not be the best chapter, but I'm satisfied with it. **

** I don't own RedvsBlue.**

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Once again, the darkness that overtook him was not comforting. Epsilon made sure of that.

The AI kept screaming at him in his head. Begging him to help him, and as Wash kept refusing, Epsilon kept making the nightmares worse.

"You have to help," the program sobbed. "You're the only one who knows what they've done. The only one who can make sure the truth gets out."

Wash shook his head and moved his mouth as if to form words but none came out.

"You have to help me!" Epsilon demanded his hologram growing bigger and turning red. "You have to!"

Wash wished they would have done a better job of knocking him out. All he wanted was the sweet blissful peace of feeling nothing at all. Of being asleep in a place where your thoughts and worries couldn't follow. Of complete oblivion.

Of course that was apparently too much to ask.

The AI's thoughts still merged with his, and visions of the mysterious Allison still raced through his mind causing feelings of deep longing and loss stronger than he thought possible flooded his subconscious.

He was still getting flashes that he couldn't quite understand. Visions of men in lab coats haunted his mind bringing with them pain, danger, and loss.

They were clearer than they had been before, but Wash couldn't analyze them. Not with his AI causing him hell.

Wash was tired of this. He didn't want to be here, and he had no clue what the Hell he could have done to deserve this.

He wanted to run away, but no matter how much he moved his legs, he couldn't seem to move.

Suddenly a voice seemed to break through the darkness. A voice that wasn't Epsilons.

Wash strained his ears and tried to listen to the voice wondering who it could possibly be.

The voice sounded familiar. It was calm and kind, a welcome change from Epsilon's harsh, grating voice.

Whoever it was started talking more and Wash could start to make out some of the words.

"Hey Wash? You feeling any better?" the voice asked. It took Wash a bit, but he finally recognized the voice as North's.

The grey and yellow freelancer turned to where he thought North's voice was coming from, and tried to muster out a response, but before he could, he was pulled back by some unseen force.

"You were out for about a week. Is Epsilon doing any better?" he heard North asked.

The Spartan tried to shake loose of whatever kept him immobile and talk with North, but found he was unable.

Suddenly, Wash couldn't hear anything. Epsilon had left him and so had North's voice.

Wash was finally alone, and yet, he couldn't enjoy it. He had a horrible feeling that something was going wrong, and that he was going to be involved in it somehow.

The headaches were getting worse, and Wash wanted so badly to escape the pain. He thrashed and fought as hard as he could, but he couldn't seem to break free.

The bond just seemed to disappear and the grey and yellow freelancer was finally able to wake up.

He sat up, ignoring the wave of nausea that hit him when he tried to do so.

He looked over to his side and saw he had been right about the voice belonging to North.

The nausea was getting to be too much for him, and Wash suddenly couldn't remember what the heck was going on.

"Where am I?" he inquired looking desperately at his friend for answers. "What's going…."

Before he could finish his sentence, he heard Epsilon whisper, "I'm sorry," and a pain like he had never felt before flooded his brain.

It felt like a thousand tiny suns were simultaneously exploding in his skull and all of the AIs thoughts seemed to melt into his brain.

Wash screamed and screamed until his throat burned and his voice went hoarse.

His AI had exploded! Epsilon had killed himself! Wash could swear he felt what he guessed was Epsilon's remains inside of his brain.

He was vaguely aware that the medics were back and were surrounding him, talking in worried tones that Wash no longer cared to listen too.

He felt them remove whatever was left of Epsilon and he sighed in relief at the loss.

Unfortunately, they could never remove the trauma of what had just transpired.


	4. After the removal

**Hi ya'll! I've finally updated one of my stories. I hope that this is acceptable. **

**I do not own RedvsBlue, Rooster Teeth does. I also don't own the awesome cover art. It was drawn by Ichbinsonning who was kind enough to let me use it, and is also on Deviantart where you can check out more of her awesome work.**

The dreams that Washington had were strange ones.

Memories flashed through the Spartan's head, but he couldn't tell if they were his or Epsilon's. They didn't feel like his. It felt more like he was watching the home videos of someone else's life, but then again, they could have very well belonged to his AI.

He was in the middle of watching some kid who looked strangely like a young Director getting pantsed in high school when he heard the voices.

They were familiar voices, but Wash couldn't quite place them. He listened carefully to the two voices arguing above him trying to figure out where he remembered them from.

One of the voices was clearly female, and the first thought to cross his mind was Allison. Wash had long since stopped questioning who the mysterious women was and let his mind run free with memories of the blonde haired women who plagued his existence recently.

Finally one of the voices said a name, North.

North. He knew that name. North was good. He was a friend, and the girl with him must have been South not Allison. South was….kind of a friend.

He moaned and sat up, instantly regretting his movement as he felt a sharp pain go through his skull.

"Slowly, slowly," North said gently.

Wash's eyes widened as he noticed he was in the med bay. Shouldn't he have been discharged by now?

"How long was I out?" he asked. Maybe it was only a few hours after his surgery. He felt like it had been longer, but he could be wrong. He often was.

He could almost feel North's comforting smile. The same smile he gave South when he had to tell her bad news. Uh oh.

"Only a few days this time," North tried to reassure him. Though Wash found no comfort in the Spartan's words.

A million questions were racing through his mind each one asking to be answered. The question he wanted answered most of all was what the hell was going on, but the words that came out of his mouth were, "This time?"

"Yeah," North said. "After they removed it."

Wash's hand immedietly went to the back of his head and his eyes widened. Epsilon was gone? Then why could he still feel the presence of an AI? Why was he still having flashes of memories that weren't his?

"Removed it?" he asked warily. Maybe North was just misinformed. Maybe Epsilon was still implanted at the program was just letting Wash have a moment of peace.

North nodded. "It's gone. They're going to remove all of them. Started with you."

Wash felt a twinge of dread. Apparently North wasn't mistaken. They had removed Epsilon. The AI had just left more of an imprint than he thought possible.

South brought him out of his worried thoughts by being her usual obnoxious self.

"Yeah, thanks asshole," she said and Wash could almost feel the scowl on her face. "The whole process is on hold now."

At her words Wash couldn't help but feel a bit of regret. He thought about how Delta and Theta were going to have to be removed from York and North. All because he couldn't handle one measly AI.

At least Carolina controlled two, if only for a little bit. He wondered how she'd take the news. He glanced over to where he'd last seen her laying in the med bay, but she was gone.

"What about Carolina?" he asked.

South laughed.

"Throwing a fit," she said crossing her arms. "Seems Miss. Second Place thinks she's too good to give up her AIs. Not like she could handle them in the first place."

North shot his sister what Wash assumed was a disapproving look before beginning to try to explain the situation to Wash.

It was all so confusing to Wash, and the twin's loud voices weren't helping the headache they were giving him.

What they were saying didn't make any sense. Why would Tex go AWOL? What would she want with those AIs? There was no way that Allison…

The thought stopped Wash in his tracks. For some reason, he couldn't seem to separate Agent Texas from Allison. The two seemed to merge together in his mind.

His headache was getting a lot wore though if it was from the twin's fighting or his own thoughts Wash didn't know, but he wanted it to stop.

"You guys are giving me a headache," he said hoping they would get the hint and stop talking.

They didn't, and to make matters worse, the alarm system went off causing Wash's pain to go from a dull ache, to a massive throbbing.

Without a word, South bolted out of the infirmary leaving Wash alone with North.

"South wait!" North called after his sister.

The purple Spartan cursed before running towards the door, obviously to prevent his sister from making one of her messes. Wash steeled himself and tried to get up so he could assist his friend in any way possible.

North had other ideas apparently.

"Whoa! Where do you think you're going?" he asked Wash back onto the bed much to his annoyance. "You need to stay here," the older Spartan said sternly in a tone Wash had only ever heard him use on South and it irritated him to be treated like a little kid.

"What!" Wash exclaimed trying to push himself off the bed, but the slight movement aggravated his headache even worse and he sunk reluctantly back onto the bed. "I have to go. The alarm sounded. All personnel have to report," he mumbled.

North shifted uncomfortably and looked down at the floor. Wash looked at his friend in worry. What? Why wasn't North letting him go? He was an agent of Project Freelancer! He could handle himself! He didn't need them to watch over him like he was some useless Sim soldier!

Finally North said, "I don't know if they were gonna have a medic tell you or something when you were up to it, but your certified Article Twelve Wash. You're not gonna be going on any missions for a while."

Wash felt his heart drop as he looked at the purple Spartan in shock. He was certified Article Twelve? How could they do this to him? They didn't do it to Carolina, and she freaked out just as bad as he did if not worse!

"What!" he yelled in a tone that sounded strange even to him. His voice sounded angry and cold, so unlike his usually chipper tone "How could they do that? I'm perfectly fine!" he all but hissed, clenching his fists.

Wash decided to hell with his certification. He was going to help and prove that he was perfectly fine. Though it seemed that everything was against him today as he fell down immediately.

North looked at him with a pitying look that made his blood boil. He didn't need his pity! He was fine! Then the soldier reached his hand out to him, and Wash flinched. Brief memories or pain flashed through his head as he smacked the hand away before it could hurt him.

"Stay away from me! Just go on your mission and leave me the hell alone!" he snarled shrinking back into the floor.

Memories once again started to flood his every thought, and the Spartan once again began to wonder if Epsilon was truly gone. All he did now was that he wasn't safe. He was trapped in hell with people who wanted to hurt him.

"Don't trust them. They hurt. They lie." Wash muttered putting his hands over his head and squeezing, trying desperately to get all the pain out. "They hurt. They lie."

Wash didn't notice when North ran out of the room. He stayed on the floor letting the thoughts run rampant. Nobody noticed him rocking back and forth in a little ball, muttering little nonsense words to himself.

Wash wouldn't have noticed if anyone tried to help him anyway. The Spartan didn't notice anything. Not the explosions that could be heard from all over the ship. Not when the gravity was turned off. Not even the Mother of Invention plummeting to the surface.

He was trapped in his own little world.

His own little hell.


End file.
